25 posts from March 2008

The Chantix website stopped asking me if I took my medicine today.  Its my three month mark (according to them).  But it IS 79 days since I've had a cig...woo hoo!  I'm not out of the evil grip of nicotine though, I think about smoking every day, every day I reason with myself.  And then its another day under my belt.  I wonder if it will ever go away?  I think I need a cigarette for the dumbest reasons too.  Of course if I smoked, I wouldn't be having so much pain.  If I had a cigarette, I could be practicing lunges on the stairs in the garage.  Truth is, if I smoked, it would be a distraction from the pain, but it wouldn't cure it, and I'd just be mad at myself for smoking.  And there is no reason I can't do lunges on the stairs to our basement.  Its the nicotine talking to me...I wish it would STOP.  So far I'm stronger.  Go Karen.

I've lost 22 pounds since my surgery!  I was so bummed that I had gained it during radiation and the first month after I quit smoking...but its off again.  Woo hoo

I can do stairs.  Woo hoo

Ok enough woohooing...fading fast. 

mmm, thats what I'm talking about baby......

Top of the Morn to ya!

What kind of camera do you have?

I'm going to buy a digital SLR and am leaning towards the Nikon D80, but then I saw a review for the D200 that says it  is a much better camera (why?) for just a few hundred dollars more.  

This will be my first SLR camera ever, even back in film days, I always used a point and shoot.  I want to learn more, to delve deeper into photography now, and I think a SLR will take me where I want to go.

Any advice from my friends will be greatly appreciated. 

Its been a while since I felt like doing this, its been a while since I even cared about my hair growth.  Its been a while since I've been Karen, sheesh.  It is pretty curly, I'm going to have to pay Dr. Fox his 5 dollars back when I see him next.  5 plus 5 actually, because he wins, it IS thick, and it IS curly!  And I'm a happy girl, so happy it came back in.  I tell you the fear that it might not grow back was very real for me. 

The pain is starting to subside, finally.  Not to the point where I can go without medicine, but I've cut my doses of both narcotics in half in the last 2 days.  I think I shouldn't be rushing getting "off" these drugs when I can clearly use their benefits, I'm sitting here thinking the knee would feel so much better if I was taking the full dose, but frankly, the addiction factor scares the shit out of me.  So anyway, I've gone from 40 mgs of oxycontin twice a day, to 20 mgs of twice a day.  This is by far the scariest drug to be on, its pain relieving benefits are second to maybe only morphine, but being addicted...no, thats not for me.  They told me at my doctor's visit Tuesday, that this is the way I wean myself off, I can't just stop cold turkey, or I will go through withdrawals.  After a few days at 20 twice a day, when I feel like I can cut it again, I'll go to 10 twice a day.  I'm not sure when that point will come...hopefully quickly now. 

I missed therapy Friday, because we had a huge snowstorm going on at appointment time, and I was scared to go out, scared of falling.  Which I did do on Thursday.  (rolls eyes at self).  Jeremy had put my CPM machine on the floor at the foot of the bed for me, but he didn't tuck the cords in and dangly cords don't agree with limpy ladies.  Anyway, I got out of bed to go grab my phone, which was ringing on the OTHER side of the room, walked around the bed, got my foot tangled in the cord for the CPM and I went flying.  I think I screamed before I even hit the ground.  I have heard horror stories of people falling after TKR, and completely wrecking the implant.  They tell you prior to surgery, get rid of all throw rugs, all electrical cords that may be in the way, anything that might trip you up, you are to put away.   DO NOT FALL is very high priority. 

I'm not sure how I landed, I was so scared during the fly, but when Jeremy came running to help I was on my butt, on my left side, so I think I protected it (the replaced knee) good enough during the fall.  But after falling Thursday, I just wasn't willing to risk walking on the snow and ice for a therapy on Friday.  I'm pretty good about doing my exercises, I do them on and off during the day, and I worked a little extra Friday to make up for missing PT.

I was a little apprehensive about going to therapy today, since I missed Friday, I was afraid I might have back peddled a little in my progress from missing, but thankfully, my home work is paying off.  I hit 103 degrees of flex on my own today!  Wednesday last week, I had hit 95.  So I am making forward progress!  When I got there, I got on the bike to do a little stretching before PT, and I accidentally went the entire way around.  I'm only supposed to go halfway front and halfway back, but for some reason that damn wheel went the WHOLE way around.  I screamed, saw stars, and blacked out.  The 2 therapists came running to help me off the bike and onto the bed/mat and we all had a good laugh about it, after the pain went away.  Now I know I can make one complete circumference, woo hoo.  OMG did that hurt.

My flatness measures at 8 now.  The muscles in the back of my leg (hamstrings) are so sore from the surgery, it really hurts a lot to do the flattening exercises.  I'm working on it though.

That is keeping me away. 

I'm sorry, I know you girls all look after me like sisters and I love you all for that. 

Quick update:  staples came out yesterday, and was painless, woo hoo!
                      friday will be 2 weeks.

I'm pretty mobile, put the walker away and am using a cane parttime AND I can take care of myself now.  The only thing I need someone to watch over me for is getting in and out of the shower.  Michael hired me some "everyday angels" to come out and sit with me.  That was supposed to start Monday when he went back to work, but Monday morning I begged him to call them and tell them I was ok enough to be alone.  I just couldn't see having someone sit with me 5 hours a day, just in anticipation of me asking for something.  Especially when I need to move around to get my range of motion back.  I don't want to be waited on hand and foot.  So I fired my angels.  haha :)) 

As soon as you see me posting you'll know I'm feeling better.  It takes a long time for the pain to subside, I remember from last year.  I've got about 4 more weeks of this intenseness then it will start to get better.  I'm scared silly over the amount of pain medicine that I am taking, I'm up to 40mgs of oxycontin twice a day and 10 mgs of percoset every 3 hours.  I add tylenol to the mix every six hours.  They told me how to start weaning myself off of the oxycontin, but honestly, I just can't yet.  I wake up like clockwork every 3 hours in horrible pain.  Thank goodness I don't have to wait 4 hours.  I'm thinking about weaning myself down already, thats a step in the right direction.

 I hate the fog it (the medicine) is giving my head.  I misplaced my wallet, well it is misplaced.  I am hoping I left it in the car the day before the surgery, it is the only place I've not checked, and I can't get to,  our garage has 6 steps down (and then back up).  Although, I did do 3 steps today to get in the van that came to pick me up for therapy!  Anyway, I just can't remember the last time I had it outside of my purse, but my purse sits walletless right where I put it before the surgery.  Sigh...

see i don't have much to say anyway.

miss you all

edited 6:48 pm:  found the wallet, i had locked it in the safe. lol  woo hoo

How often do you call your parents?

Just about every day.  Unless I'm going through a "dry spell" and time gets away from me and then its been weeks since I called. (has happened in the past) Lately though, if Mom doesn't hear from me for 24 hours, my phone is ringing.  

Since I had the surgery!   I wish the pain would go away, but thats going to take a long time.  So far as progress, on Friday at PT, I measured 92 degrees of flex.  She said that was pretty good, I'm not going to get much better than that until the staples are removed, and that is Tuesday.  Normal people can flex about 130 degrees.  I got ALL my flex back on the left knee, so I know I will also get there with the right knee eventually.  My flatness-extension measured a 10.  I guess normal is zero. 

I can walk pretty good without the walker, as a matter of fact, the walker really holds me back.  You figure you got these tiny wheels going from carpet to tile to linoleum to carpet, all I end up doing is pushing it and exerting more effort than I do when I walk with my cane, or nothing at all. And yes, I can walk with nothing!  I've not attempted to venture too far away from the bed unassisted, but yesterday I made the bed, gathered the laundry and cleaned up the bedroom.  I forget myself sometimes and realize that I am walking without anything but my legs. 

I've not attempted stairs yet, other than the 2 steps that lead into my house from the front porch.  Those I can handle easily.  I have to remember down with the bad up with the good, when I step down I use my operated leg, and when I step up, with the good leg. 

I'm alternating hot and cold on the entire leg, as it is the whole leg that hurts.  The bulk of the pain is coming from the bottom inside of my knee, but it also hurts all the way down to my foot.  When they do the replacement, they carve out the space where the replacement itself sits on the femur and tibia.  So those bones are really really achey.  My kneecap isn't too bad this time, I remember with the left knee, that was were the biggest pain radiated from.

Its I don't know what to do with myself pain.  I just want to lay and moan.  It takes my breath away.  I just have to keep reminding myself of the end being worth the means. 

There...that was tough posting, holy moley.  And I'm blogging sitting down!   

What one object/thing would you take if your house were on fire?

The dogs.  

I have the best husband in the world.  Look what he brings me :))